


Like The Sun

by ConsentFest, FivePips



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Consent, First Kiss, Fluff, Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Unaware Veritaserum consumption, Veritaserum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 03:05:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17634845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConsentFest/pseuds/ConsentFest, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FivePips/pseuds/FivePips
Summary: Sirius wants a good laugh and when he comes across some Veritaserum, he decides to slip it into Remus Lupin’s, the ever guarded werewolf, pumpkin juice. Remus ends up revealing a bit more than Sirius had anticipated.“The truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t going away.” — Elvis Presley





	Like The Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Like The Sun  
> Prompt: Prompt #78  
> Rating: T  
> Warnings/Content Notes: No warnings  
> Summary: Sirius wants a good laugh and when he comes across some Veritaserum, he decides slipping into Remus Lupin’s, the ever guarded werewolf, pumpkin juice will be a great way to start their day. Remus ends up revealing a bit more than Sirius had anticipated.  
> Word Count: 4033  
> Author’s Notes: THANK YOU TO MY LOVELY LOVELY BETA JENNANDBLITZ  
> Link to AO3 entry: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17634845

One night, well after curfew, James and Sirius were snooping around the potions closet for some supplies when Sirius came eye to eye with some Veritaserum. Sirius grinned and grabbed the bottle. There was only a little left in it, don’t think Sluggy would miss it too much. He could do some very wonderful things with that little potion.

“Look what I found here.” He held up the bottle in triumph.

“Ugh, we are not playing truth or dare again. I nearly got drowned by the giant squid last time.” James cringed, remembering the night last spring when that had happened. It was one of Sirius’ favorite memories but apparently James didn’t love it so much.

“We’re not going to play truth or dare. I think we should give it to Moony. It’d be pretty funny, right? He never talks about anything. When was the last time he let his hair down?”

“At the party to celebrate Gryffindor’s last win,” James reminded him.

“I think it might do our werewolf some good to just get things off his chest. Plus, he’s been weird lately. I’m fairly certain that he’s avoiding me.”

“Maybe he knows that you have a big giant gay crush on him.”

Sirius flushed and pocketed the bottle “Bugger off, he doesn’t know.” Sirius would probably die if Remus found out. There was no way that Remus Lupin would ever want him. He knew Remus was bi and Remus knew Sirius was gay, and that didn’t open anything up for Sirius. He was going to just have to harbor his crush the rest of his life, which he could do because he was brilliant at lying.

“Something’s up with him though. He’s been more tense than more. Moony can usually relax and have a good time. He’s been a mastermind to many pranks, but something’s off.”

Their friend had been very quiet lately and not in the usual Moony way where he was doing his best not to bring attention to himself since he was a werewolf. Ever since Remus realized the Marauders were not going to leave him, then he relaxed and showed his true colors. And boy, was Remus Lupin colorful. Except for the last few weeks, that is. He had become quiet once again and frankly, it was driving Sirius mad.

“You can’t slip him some potion because he’s been off.”

“Okay, no, but it would be bloody funny, wouldn’t it?” Sirius said. It really was good for two things. One, a laugh and two, to figure out what on earth was going on with one of his best mates. The best mate he had a crush on…

James shrugged. “Or it could be disastrous.”

“Since when have you been so aware of these things?” James Potter used to thrive off of disaster. Since the middle of last year, he had seemed to mellow out. It just became worse when he was given the Head Boy badge and Lily Evans finally told him she fancied him. James wasn’t completely tame.

“I’m Head Boy now, you know?”

“Head Boy who’s currently in the potions supply closet to nick some things for our next prank?” Sirius retorted with a raised eyebrow.

James Potter was never going to be completely tamed. “Okay, okay! Fine. It will be pretty funny. I’ve always been curious what goes through his mind. I mean, he’s always thinking, isn’t he?”

“Yes, and now we’ll find out what he’s thinking about.” Sirius grinned. “Let’s get the rest of what we need. Then tomorrow morning, we’ll have a good laugh.”

***

The very next day at breakfast, Sirius eagerly offered a glass of pumpkin juice to Remus. He couldn’t wait to hear what was going to come out of Remus’ mouth. The werewolf took the pumpkin juice without even glancing up at Sirius, his face down in his DADA notes. Sirius didn’t know why he had to study so much for the subject, he was bloody good at it; Top in their class in the subject of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Even though there was some very outdated shite on Werewolves that they were taught, Remus was the best.

Anyhow, James tried not to smile when he saw what Sirius was doing. Remus took a big gulp of his pumpkin juice. From what Sirius could make out, he nearly chugged the whole thing at once. That was good. Sirius wasn’t going to have to sit and wait for him to finish the whole cup.

Lily and Marlene came to sit next to the group of boys at the far end of the Gryffindor table near the doors. “How are we doing this morning?” Lily asked.

“Smashing!” James kissed Lily on the cheek.

“Fucking horrible as usual,” Remus said then looked up in surprise. His brow furrowed slightly and his eyes narrowed.

“Why’s that Moony?” Lily frowned at her friend. Lily and Remus were good mates, even before she realized she fancied James.

“I forgot to read for Defense last night and now I’m screwed. I should be used to it by now. He’s a fucking sadist assigning all this reading. Who does he think we are? I’m not a speed reader and I have other subjects to worry about. Fucking bastard.” Remus raised an eyebrow and bit his lip. Sirius knew the other man always thought before he spoke. He was probably worrying about what was happening to him right now.

“You forgot to read for Defense? What the bloody hell were you doing in the library all night?” James asked. Remus was in the library all night. He had even missed dinner and the plans to go to the potions supply closet. He was asleep by the time Sirius, James, and Peter got in.

“Avoiding Sirius.” Remus’ eyes went wide. Before Sirius could ask why on earth Remus was avoiding him, Remus clenched his fist around his nearly empty cup of pumpkin juice. Maybe James was right and this could be disastrous. “Who the fuck dosed me with Veritaserum?”

“Haven’t the foggiest.” James ruffled his hair nudged his foot against Sirius’.

“Padfoot, I’m going to murder you.” Remus glared at him.

“ME!?” Sirius did his best sweet puppy dog look. He knew that didn’t fool Remus or make him weak in the knees but he didn’t have many other options to get out of it at the moment.

“Oh, fuck you, you’re so not innocent. You never are.”

“Do I look nice today Moony?” Marlene asked with a cheeky grin, attempting to break the tension. She rested her chin on her hands and tried her best to look like an angel. Sirius was so happy for Marlene at the moment.

“Yes, I like that silk scarf in your hair. If you were into blokes I’d tried to get a leg over.” Remus blushed a deep scarlet and the group laughed. This was what Sirius wanted when he laid his eyes on the potion last night.

Marlene preened then winked. “Thanks, babe! If I ever change my mind about blokes I’ll be sure to go for you. I wouldn’t hold your breath, though.”

“What about me, Moony? Would you shag me?” Lily beamed as she leaned on the table. James’ eyes were like saucers and Sirius hoped the answer would be as hilarious as what he said about Marlene.

“You’re practically my sister, no. Plus, I rather like to keep my bollocks and my life. I don’t want to be killed by James. He’d probably stab me to death with his fucking antlers.”

“That’s good to know.” James nodded, looking very pleased with this development. “Remus, what do you think about my antlers? Are you jealous?”

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous? Your antlers are certainly overcompensating for something.” Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius’ laugh was so loud it drew attention from the Hufflepuffs and a few of the professors.

“Remus, did you really like my Christmas gift?” Peter asked.

“No, Peter. I didn’t. Why the fuck would I want a neon green jumper? You fucking idiot. How is that my style?”

“He sure swears a lot when he’s telling the truth.” Peter didn’t look hurt at the comment, that was good.

“So, Moony, why were you avoiding me?” Sirius finally decided to ask him. Okay, he finally got the chance and the nerve to ask the other boy. He had been sitting there worrying underneath all the laughing that he had been doing. Sirius couldn’t remember doing anything to hurt Remus recently.

Remus put his hand over his mouth and screwed his eyes closed. Whatever his said was lost against the palm of his hand. He looked nearly pained. Sirius was beginning to feel somewhat bad about this all now. Maybe he should have stuck with the funny questions and asked Remus about this later.

Next to him, James whispered, “Rictusempra.”

This jinx caused Moony to fling his hand out and begin laughing loudly, drawing attention from other tables. “What’s been going on with you Remus? Why are you so agitated lately? Why on earth are you avoiding just me?” Sirius pressed on.

“I’m in love with you!” He said then laughed again, but it didn’t look as if he found it funny at all. “Arse over fucking tit in love with you, Sirius Black! That’s what is going on but I can’t love my sodding best mate, can I? So, I figured if I avoided you then it’d all just stop eventually. It has not,” Remus said loudly between laughs. Sirius was sure most of the eyes in the Great Hall were on them now.

The Marauders, Marlene and Lily all looked at each other in disbelief. Sirius couldn’t stop the smile that blossomed on his face. This was the best news he could have ever heard in his entire life. The person he fancied, the best person on the planet, loved him back. This was better than just having a laugh at his friend’s expense. It was nearly unbelievable.

“Fuck you.” Remus stood up, gaining some control over himself as the laughter died down. “You’re a bastard and I don’t understand why I fancy you, let alone want to be your friend some days,” he said harshly in a quiet voice, leaning across the table to get in Sirius’ face.

Sirius sat back, his heart breaking in his chest, as Remus grabbed his bag and practically ran out of the room. Why couldn’t he ever do anything right? Remus shouldn’t have been so angry with him because this was a very good thing. He needed to tell him that.

“Where are you going? He’s going to murder you. I should go.” Lily stood up at the same time as Sirius.

“No he’s not! I need to tell him this is a good thing! He’ll laugh about this all eventually.”

“You’re an idiot, Sirius. He’s not mad at the fact — you know, go ahead. Let me know how this all goes later if you’re still breathing.” Lily held her hands up then sat back down with the sourest look on her face.

Sirius rushed out of the Great Hall, everyone seemed to be whispering as he all-out ran after Remus. He knew Remus hated losing his cool because of the whole werewolf issue but no one else knew that. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. Remus also did not let Sirius tell him that he was completely in love with him as well. It was going to be just fine once he could talk to his friend.

“Moony! Wait up!” Sirius said when he saw the taller boy just up ahead as he took the stairs.

“No, Sirius! I won’t wait,” Remus shouted back as he quickly took two steps at a time.

“Remus, you didn’t stay long enough to hear how this is brilliant news.”

“Brilliant news?! How on earth is this brilliant news?” Remus took a sharp turn to go down a corridor.

“I’m madly in love with you too! Remus, it’s great. I was so nervous to tell you because I didn’t want you to have reject me. That would have been murder to our friendship. But you fancy me!”

Remus stopped short in the middle of the corridor. When he turned around the look in his eyes was not one of relief. It was one of anger, pure and simple. Sirius felt himself take a step back at this look.

“I know you’re angry because you made a scene down there.” He waved a hand and shook his head.

“I made a scene?” Remus was incredulous. “You think that’s why I’m angry? You think it’s because I lost my cool?”

Sirius nodded, coming closer to Remus.

“You’re a fucking — ugh, Godric.” Remus shook his head. “You don’t understand that it has to do with the fact you forced me to tell you how I felt with you? You gave me Veritaserum without my consent. Do you not understand how that’s a problem, Sirius?”

Sirius frowned. “I just wanted you to have some fun and let go. You’ve been so edgy lately.”

“I know! It’s because I realized I fancied you. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Well, now you told me and I like you too. So, we could date.”

“No.”

Sirius shook his head. “Remus, I don’t understand.”

“I wasn’t ready to tell you, Sirius. I needed to work things out on my own.” Remus ran a hand through his hair. “It goes against all sorts of things to slip someone Veritaserum without their knowledge. I thought you had some respect for me and my privacy.”

“I do, Moony, but you always keep things so close to your chest.” Sirius went to touch his arm but Remus jerked it back quickly.

“I have all the right in the world to keep things close to my chest even if you think I need to tell my mates everything.”

“It helps to talk. You always say that it helps to talk.”

“I wasn’t ready to talk. I don’t have to tell you anything that I don’t want to, Sirius. If you can’t understand that I’m allowed some privacy then I don’t want to be with you. I don’t even want to be your friend. I certainly don’t want to date you.”

“But Remus—”

“You broke my trust, Sirius! It feels like shite. I just splayed myself open with one of my deepest secrets in front of everyone because you are a selfish, arrogant, twat who thought it’d be funny for me to be a bit more chatty than normal!”

Sirius opened and closed his mouth twice, hoping he could say something to make Remus feel better. He was sure whatever would come out, wouldn’t be enough to comfort his friend or change his mind. Sirius had not thought about his actions before jumping into something. This wasn’t the first time his impulsivity hurt Remus. He wanted to make it the last time, though.

“What if this was about me being a werewolf? Godric, what would have happened if I told everyone in the hall that? Who knows if I’d be able to stay at school to finish my seventh year.”

Sirius didn’t think of it like that before. He really did screw this one up. All he wanted was for Remus to relax but this was doing the exact opposite.

“You’ve done a lot of idiotic, thoughtless things in your life but this has to be right up there. This hurts so much that I don’t think I can stand to be around you.”

“I’m so sorry, Remus,” Sirius said, trying to make sure he didn’t start crying. He didn’t have the right to cry and he didn’t want to give Remus one more thing to be angry about. “I didn’t realize — I — I just wanted to have some fun. Then when you said you were avoiding me, I wanted to find out what was wrong.”

“I never push you to tell me when something is bothering you, do I?”

Sirius shook his head. “No, never.”

“Then you should give me the same respect. If you can’t respect me the way I respect you, then there is no way that I can be with you.”

“I do respect you, Remus. I’m so bloody sorry I’m a thoughtless idiot. I just want you.” Sirius knew he sounded like he was on the verge of begging now.

“You have a shite way of showing it.” Remus shook his head. “I think I need some time.”

“Of course.”

“I don’t — I really don’t want to talk to you for a while so please just give me the space that I need.”

“I will, I promise.” Sirius nodded.

“You should have just done that to begin with. I would have told you eventually, you know? Plus, it’s not funny to make people tell you things.”

Sirius nodded as Remus hitched his bag up on his shoulder and walked away. He wasn’t sure how long Remus needed and what would happen after that period of time, but Sirius knew he had to give it to him.

***

  
Later that night, Sirius was sitting on top of the Astronomy Tower having a cigarette. He had seen very little of Remus after their conversation in the hallway. Sirius wasn’t sure if he was avoiding Remus or the other way around. It was too much like his mistake in fifth year with Snape. How could he hurt someone he cared about so much twice like this?

“Had a feeling you’d be up here.” Lily’s voice startled him as she came forward. She sat down next to him and plucked the cigarette out of his hand. “So, are you okay?” She took a drag of the cigarette then handed it back to Sirius.

“You’re not talking to Moony?” Sirius asked, because Lily and Remus were fairly good mates. Not that Sirius didn’t like Lily. He thought she was brilliant, but he didn’t think they were as close as she and Remus.

“He’s with James and Peter in your dorm. He’s not happy but I think he’ll come around.”

“I don’t know why I do this shite,” Sirius sighed. “I care about him more than anything and I’ve fucked things up royally twice.”

Lily frowned. “I’d say it probably has something to do with your shitty family.”

“You’d probably be right.” Sirius shook his head. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Maybe you could, I don’t know, stop and think about what you’re doing before you actually do it.”

“What a thought, Evans.”

“I’m trying.” Lily took the cigarette again as it was just dangling from Sirius’ fingers.

“I thought it’d be funny and now it’s the worst thing possible. He fancies me! Remus Lupin wanted me but I managed to fuck it up.”

Lily smiled. “You two will make a cute couple.”

“We will? He’s never going to speak to me again. I don’t deserve to him to speak to me again.”

“Sirius, apologize. Tell him how you’re feeling and how you fucked up and how you want to learn from your mistakes. I think Remus cares about you too much to drop you for this — even if it was fucking daft.”

“Thanks.” Sirius shook his head with a sigh. He didn’t know what was going to do. Sirius just had to try to do the right thing and do as Lily suggested.

***

For three very long weeks, Remus barely spoke to Sirius. He wasn’t ignoring Sirius completely because he talked to him when he needed to, but he avoided being alone with him. Sirius didn’t push. He learned his lesson when it came to pushing Moony into talking. Sirius wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be able to properly make it up to Remus. Sirius was positive he did not deserve for the other boy to give him the time of day ever again.

The more he thought about what he did with the Veritaserum, the worse he felt about his actions. The more he thought about what Remus had said, the more he was sure that Remus wasn’t ever going to be able to trust him again. Sirius had made Remus share his secrets without telling him what was going on. He did it because he thought it would be hilarious. When Remus showed he didn’t want to spill something, Sirius had continued to press forward with asking what Sirius wanted to know.

After a very long Quidditch practice, Sirius decided to head up to the dorm for a nap. It was a time that no one was usually there. Peter was with his girlfriend and James was about to sneak to Hogsmeade with Lily. Remus had a tendency to take this time to get some work done or to see someone — depending on what he had going on. Sirius realized that Moony hadn’t gone on any sort of date with another student for months now. Still, he didn’t think that he’d find Remus in the dorm.

Remus was sitting on the window ledge smoking the weed that he had a knack of finding. He was just staring out into the light mist that was falling outside the castle. “Hi, Sirius,” he said, clearing his throat.

“Hiya, Remus. Um, I was just going to have a nap but I can —”

“No, you don’t have to go,” Remus interrupted, putting the joint out in the ashtray on the nightstand close to the window. “Can we actually talk, if you’re not too tired?”

“Sure, ah, yeah.” Sirius nodded, moving closer.

“Come on, sit.” He patted the empty spot next to him.

Sirius sat on the stone, which was warm. Remus must have recently done a warming charm. “I’m sorry, Remus. I know that probably means shite because what I did was uncalled for and so disrespectful and harmful. The fact that I hurt you so much, I — it wasn’t my intention. I should have told you what was going on. I shouldn’t have done it in the first place but—”

“But you were impulsive and reckless and put your feelings first.”

“I’m — I’m a complete shite sometimes. I don’t think and I’m selfish. I did it because I thought it was going to be a good time. Instead I fucked up again.”

“You sure did.” Remus bit his lip. “I’m scared that you’ll do something to me like that again. I’m not over it but I’m ready to move forward. I want to trust you, Pads so please don’t hurt me again.”

“I’ll try my best Moony. The last thing I want in this world is to cause you any pain. I love you, I really do.” Sirius sighed.

“So, maybe we can go on a date to Hogsmeade tomorrow...” Remus said and Sirius was sure that his heart was palpitating.

“Really?”

“Yes, but if you ever do something like that again, Sirius, I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive you. I doubt that I’d ever speak to you again.”

“Of course.” Sirius smiled and reached for his hand.

“So, if you wanted to kiss me you could.” Remus laughed, a faint blush on his cheeks. “I’ve wanted that for a while now, personally.”

“I can?”

“Yes, please.” Remus reached out his hand.

Sirius took it and let himself be pulled over on to Remus’ lap. He wrapped his arms around Remus’ shoulders and nuzzled his neck for a moment, trying to convince himself that this all was not a dream. One of Remus’ hands rubbed a calming circle between his shoulder blades and he pressed a kiss to the top of Sirius’ head.

“I can really kiss you?” Sirius asked, not moving from his embrace to even lift his head.

“Of course, Sirius, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

“I was sure you weren’t going to speak to me again.”

“I can go back to that if you want.” Remus snorted a laugh as Sirius picked his head up to look the other man in the eye.

“No, please don’t.” Sirius shook his head. “I’m kissing you now.”

“Good, took you long enough.” Remus laughed but it was lost against Sirius’ lips.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I loved this prompt so much because it felt very in character for Sirius Black. I also liked how this prompt was about something that wasn't physical. We tend to think of consent just in terms of touching/sex/ect but it does go beyond that. I think this issue would be include things like Veritaserum in the magical world.
> 
> I wanted to approach this to how many readers and fic writers view Sirius as impulsive and unthinking of others at times. I don't think Sirius would put much thought into something like this. He wanted to have some fun, and possibly find out what was bugging Remus. Sirius isn't purposely trying to hurt Remus, but he does because he doesn't understand the magnitude of the situation. After being explained why it was wrong, he would understand and feel terrible.


End file.
